by Shayndel Jim, Head Writer New Year’s resolutions represent the opportunity to be a new person, however, for many people, they can be a sore topic. Research has shown that only about 8% of individuals are actually successful in sticking to their resolutions (Oscarsson et al., 2020). While this can be very discouraging and create a fear of failure, there are ways to reframe your goals to increase the likelihood that you are successful in achieving them. I used to set goals such as “I am going to lose weight”, “I am going to be more productive”, and “I am going to have a better work-life balance” and was confused when I did not feel like I was on track to achieving these goals. After many years, I have learned what works for me when it comes to making resolutions that I am motivated to stick with and achieve. Some of these tips may work for you and some may not, but these are all tactics that have helped me creating lasting, positive change in my life through my yearly goals. Here are some practices I implemented in creating better New Year’s resolutions: 1. Reflecting on what I actually want.I used to set my resolutions around what I thought was expected of me, basing my goals on those around me rather than myself. In an increasingly digital age, it feels like everyone is on a track to self-improvement yet constantly changing direction depending on the current trends. I often struggled with this, setting goals that did not feel authentic to me and were consequently difficult for me to stick with and achieve. Reflecting on what I actually wanted helped me set goals that were true to my values and life trajectory, rather than what others made me feel I should want. Instead of aiming to lose weight, I decided that I wanted to incorporate fitness into my life to take care of myself more because it was an aspect of my life I often ignored or pushed aside. I realized it was not that I wanted to lose weight, I just had internalized that losing weight is what I should always strive towards, which is not true! Goals surrounding weight loss are one of the most common New Year’s resolutions but can be harmful as they are often rooted in the inaccurate perception that people must look a certain way to be worthy of good things. Your worth is not tied to how you look and you do not deserve good things any more or less based on your weight. By ensuring your goals are things you actually want, you may find it easier to stick to them because they already align with what you truly want to work towards. 2. Setting specific, realistic, manageable goals.Many resolutions do not stick because they are too vague, therefore being specific when setting your resolutions is a great idea! By choosing clear and focused goals, I was able to actively work towards my goals and manage them better. An old resolution I had set was to have a better work-life balance. This goal is incredibly vague and often left me feeling like I was not doing enough. To make this resolution more specific, realistic, and manageable, I have broken it down into different goals. More specifically, I have decided that my new goals are to speak to a friend once a day and have at least one day a week where I am not doing schoolwork. By making sure I maintain and strengthen my social connections, while also ensuring I take some time to myself, I set goals that are more specific, realistic, and manageable for my lifestyle. 3. Being approach oriented.Research has found that individuals who have approach-oriented goals rather than avoidance-oriented goals are more successful with achieving their resolution and having that resolution be a lasting change (Oscarsson et al., 2020). Like the name suggests, approach-oriented goals are those that are formulated in terms of approaching a behaviour or change, whereas avoidance-oriented is the opposite. By framing my resolutions to focus on positive changes I could make rather than things to avoid, I have found they are much easier to stick with. This can be better explained using the same example from the previous point. Rather than saying I wanted to avoid solely doing schoolwork, I framed my goals around what I could add to my life (i.e., speaking to a friend once a day, one day where I can enjoy time to myself). By having goals that focus on what I can add to my life to achieve healthy work-life balance, I can be more likely to be successful in my resolutions and have this be a change that is long-lasting. 4. Making them fun!By incorporating ways to make my resolutions more enjoyable, I have found that I look forward to doing them in the first place. Many people find that resolutions feel more like a chore or a shortcoming, so incorporating small things to spark joy in the journey to achieving your goals can make a huge difference! In my goal to incorporate fitness into my life, I followed the previous steps to refine my resolution to be taking a 30 minute walk every day while on the phone. If I tried to set my goal to be running 5km every day, this would not be enjoyable and I know that I would dread incorporating fitness in my life this way, which would then make it far more difficult to stick to it. I love talking on the phone with my friends and family, particularly when I am away for school, so adding this aspect to my goal of walking 30 minutes a day makes it something I look forward to and an easier change to make in my life. 5. Being flexible and kind to myself.This is the last tip and perhaps the most important one. Being flexible with my goals and understanding that progress is not linear has helped improve my mentality so much and motivates me to stick to my goals. Life is chaotic and unpredictable, so it is important to be flexible and kind to yourself when it comes to your resolutions. If I am sick one week, it is absolutely okay to allow myself time to rest rather than force myself to go on a walk. Taking a break also does not mean I have lost all my progress and should give up, but that I can still pick it up again and continue to try. It is important to take care of yourself throughout the year and understand that your goals are not set in stone.
Shayndel is an undergraduate student at the University of Guelph, and a Head Writer on GetPsyched! Are you interested in submitting a post to GetPsyched? Make sure you fill out our submission form and send it back to us so we can showcase your ideas! Edited by Mia Pistore. References
Oscarsson, M., Carlbring, P., Andersson, G., & Rozental, A. (2020). A large-scale experiment on New Year’s resolutions: Approach-oriented goals are more successful than avoidance-oriented goals. PloS One, 15(12), e0234097–e0234097. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0234097 The Official Licensing Website of Arthur Ashe. (n.d.). Quotes by Arthur Ashe. http://www.cmgww.com/sports/ashe/quotes/
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