by Justin Brass, Alumni Head Writer Did you know that the “magic ratio” for relationships is 5:1 in moments of conflict? This means that for every negative interaction in a relationship, there should be at least 5 positive interactions to neutralize or resolve the conflict. This ratio was prescribed by world-renowned researcher and psychologist Dr. John Gottman, as the most reliable formula to make our attachments long lasting and healthy. He discovered that when the ratio of positive to negative interactions was 1:1 - the relationship was nearing the edge of breakdown. While Dr. Gottman prescribed this ratio for couples who are married, it’s applicable to all kinds of relationships including friends, family, and coworkers. Remember that every relationship is personal and nuanced, thus there are no hard and fast rules. It is, however, great to practice checking-in with ourselves regularly to ensure that the positive experiences we are having in our relationships far exceed the negative. What is the 5:1 Rule? According to a popular study conducted by Dr. John Gottman and Robert Levenson, a stable relationship requires a positive-to-negative interaction ratio of approximately 5:1; meaning, for every 1 negative interaction, there should be at least 5 positive interactions. Furthermore, negative interactions are not equal to positive experiences as negative interactions and experiences leave a stronger emotional impact than positive experiences. Dr. John Gottman’s research also describes the most common negative and positive interactions responsible for breaking down as well as building relationships.
To learn more, please refer to the following sources & readings:
Justin graduated in 2021 with a BA in Psychology from the University of Guelph, and is an Alumni Head Writer for GetPsyched. Do you want to highlight a concept in psychology through a blogpost? Make sure you fill out our submission form and send it back to us by email so we can showcase your ideas!
Edited by Daniella Mayer.
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